Singled Out: John Van Deusen's My Regret Is A Pit

11-13-2024

John Van Deusen just released his new album, "Anthem Sprinter" via Tooth & Nail Records and to celebrate we asked him to tell us about a song from the record and he selected "My Regret Is A Pit". Here is the story:

In 2010 I was recording with my band, The Lonely Forest, at the famed music studio Sound City. I was feeling immense amounts of pressure to write music that would "sell records". We had been recording take after take because our producer, Chris Walla, was pushing us to get the best performance. Needless to say, I was feeling stressed out.

I started to strum the guitar between takes and the riff for "My Regret is a Pit" came out very quickly. I immediately liked it and filed it away in my brain. Soon after I wrote the first verse and though it's somewhat abstract lyrically, you can tell I'm writing about the pressure I felt to deliver something successful to our record label.

As the song evolved over time it became more and more about my mental health struggles. If you've battled with depression then you understand the feeling of wanting to give up... and sometimes the ache is so strong it's the only thing you can think about. So when I sing "I am almost ready to drown", I'm singing about the desire for some sort of sweet release.

You can hear the intensity of the lyrics in the production of the song: big punk drums, fuzzy bar chords, yelled vocals. To top it all off the song devolves into a garbage dump of cathartic noise. Overall, I'm proud of the song and the 14 year journey from conception to release is a reminder to keep ideas alive.

Hearing is believing. Now that you know the story behind the song, listen and watch for yourself below and learn more here